Thoughts on men’s ministry (Factotum #11)
Our blast from the past this Saturday takes up the topic of men ministering to men. It's a call to the men in our congregations to keep putting God and his kingdom first in their lives. It's as uncomfortable and as important today as the day it was written.
Coming to a men's breakfast near you:
Speaker: You really must be aiming to lead your family spiritually. Get the Bible out after dinner, and work through a passage with your wife and kids. Make every effort to teach them the things of God.
Ordinary Christian Bloke: That's all well and good. My only problem is that while I've been buried in the office for the last 25 years, my wife's been to Women's Bible Study weekly, finished a theological course by correspondence and runs the primary age Sunday School.
Speaker (blushing): Yes, er, good point, thank you. Of course, your wife has a great deal to contribute. In fact, come to think of it, you have sharpened my point. Is it not often the case that our wives have continued to grow, leaving us far behind?
Why we don't
1. Stages of life
Men into their 20s stay fairly active in ministries that push them on in Bible study and Christian growth. They lead youth groups, mission teams, Bible study groups and so on. These are usually child-free or toddler years, with studies completed and life settled into job and family routines.
In the 30s and 40s, life gets more complex. There are more children with increasing time and emotional needs. Often the wider family circle needs more attention with ageing parents. Success at work means promotion and increased demands. The net result is a decrease in ministry responsibility in other areas—especially in teaching the Bible to others. For some, the Sunday morning 20-minute sermon becomes the total weekly diet of Bible intake.
2. Time
There is a genuine time problem for men in this regard. Traditionally, women have had more discretionary time for personal Bible study and meeting in groups, especially during the day. However, this is changing as some women spend more time in the workforce. I imagine this will weaken the women's Bible study movement.
Men have limited opportunities to meet for Bible study and prayer. Early mornings are hectic, lunchtime is uncertain, evenings are exhausting and weekends seem to be filled with chores and family needs.
3. The character of men
Let me generalize for a moment. Men are not often really comfortable in group situations where they have to bare their soul and discuss things. Women tend to do much better at this. Consequently, men shy away from Bible study groups and, instead, get into church committees where the discussion is impersonal and focused on a task. These are genuine ministries, but they can also be an indication that men are retreating from spiritual growth and leadership.
Why we should: leadership
Men are to be the spiritual leaders of the church and the home. Husbands are the head of their wives as Christ is for the church (Eph 5:23). Fathers are to bring up their children in the training and instruction of the Lord (Eph 6:4). The elders are godly men who teach the church (1 Tim 3:1ff, Tit 1:5ff). God's word calls men to spiritual leadership in a way that is not assigned to women.
But in reality, it is Christian women who are the spiritual leaders. They study and pray and instruct each other and their children. Women often lead other women to Christ.
The solution, of course, is not the reduction of women's ministry, which needs to increase and abound. Rather, men need to see that they have largely abdicated their role of spiritual leadership and actively re-train themselves.
Spiritual leadership training should be the rationale of men's ministry. There will be times when men and women meet in Bible study groups together, but the value of men's groups is in the training of each other as Christian leaders. This is best done with men on their own, where they can work through their particular issues of life, growth and ministry.
What I write may sound like spin doctoring, but can I assure you that it is not.
I liked what Col had to say, but I do have a serious qualification.
I think we should not tell men that they are *abdicating* spiritual leadership or that they *should* take the spiritual lead. This leads to insecurities and guilt - particularly those guys whose wives are smarter or know more of the Bible.
I think instead we should remind men very clearly that they *are* the spiritual leaders. That is the position God has given them The question for men is not whether men will be the spiritual leaders. They will be. They will set the tone for the family. The question for them is whether they want to be good leaders or not.
After all Ephesians 5 is *not* a call for men to lead. Men *are* the leaders in the families. Ephesians 5 is a call for men to be loving leaders.
Great stuff, thanks for reposting these old Briefing articles. There’s great gold there that deserve a fresh lease of life.
Spot on (including Andrew’s follow-up comments). It only nudges me one step further to purchasing The Briefing’s 21st Anniversary cd-rom!
Commenting rules
If you would like your comment to be considered for publication, please observe the following rules:
Failure to adhere to these rules will result in your comment being quietly deleted.
If you want to give us feedback but don't want your comments to appear on the blog, DON'T use the form below. Instead, please send us an email or click on the button below.
Your Comment
Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.