Enshrined adolescence (lousy arguments that get better with age)
I have a friend who has an adolescent daughter. Surprisingly, there are moments when the relationship is more rocky-road than dairy milk, if you follow me. As he described his current set of frustrations, it suddenly occurred to me that adolescence is the new black.
Here are the two things he's noticed:
- It doesn't matter how many concessions you make, or how hard you try to meet the other person halfway; it's never enough. For his daughter at this moment in her life, any attempt to restrict her freedom is an assault on essential human rights; it's unacceptable and un-Australian. Apparently loving concern is just the mask of evil paternalism.
- Matters of practical wisdom always turn into matters of morality. When my friend tries to point out the blindingly obvious and particularly uncontroversial facts about her current lifestyle—for example, that drunken parties are much more likely to be the scene of physical harm and sexual violence—the conversation morphs instantly into a heated discussion about the rights of some (particularly parents, who are part of the old-school authoritarian elite, trying to bolster an indefensible inequality in the system that consistently represses the voiceless majority) to impose their morality on others (who just want to live their own little lives in their own little way without hurting anyone else).
Two generations ago, we'd have expected her to grow out of it. Today, she just sounds like every second grown-up we talk to. Her arguments are exactly like the arguments that I read in The Sydney Morning Herald and hear on breakfast radio. It doesn't take long to realize that they're lousy arguments. But somehow, if you shout them loudly enough when you're 40, they become the wisdom of the mature.
In our folly, we've managed to enshrine adolescence as the wisdom of the age. It's inspired me to think about other lousy arguments that get better with age. What are some classics that you've seen lately?
Teenagers often define themselves by their material possessions and their consumer behaviour.
If you own an iPod and can quote the latest pop song while cruising around in your keds and wearing your pants just a little bit lower than where they should be (as long as your underpants are of the Klein variety), then you claim status beyond those who… well… don’t.
(Or in other words: If you own twin Landcruisers and can quote the latest reality television victim while cruising around in your Polo V-neck and your pants just a little bit lower than where they should be, then you claim status beyond those who… well… don’t.)
Material possessions = status and value
This is another lousy argument that gets better (or should I say worse) with age.
Oh dear, Paul, you haven’t gone for the old “Back in my day…” approach have you?
Two generations ago? What, the swinging sixties? Where youth simply ‘grew out of it’?
How old exactly were you two generations ago?
I think the real lousy argument that gets better with age is one with “Back in my day…” as the premise.
Here’s one that has got better with age, that is as I’ve moved from being an adolescent to a parent!
That’s Why!
In addition to enjoying his Storybook Bible (http://sallylloyd-jones.com/JSBB.html), my 7 year old son loves “mouth stories”.
Basically my life’s observations and lessons. Tonight’s story was about not worrying - a lesson I told him I could use.
I guess the lesson is to start ‘em early and explain the reasons for your decisions - hopefully this will set a good precendent.
Its ~ 13 years before my daughter becomes a teenager: any wise words as to what I can be doing now to avoid the situation described above?
I think your friend is doing well—the daughter is arguing with him and they both know where they stand.
Other bad arguments: This one is never stated, but you have to be like everyone else. I wonder is this one quite so prevalent as it was in the 1980s?
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