29 July 2009 | 5 comments

Apostasy lit, non-lit and not-yet-lit Nicole Starling

Martin Kemp29/07/2009 02:59 AM

As a non-parent, I feel a certain inadequacy in making a comment, but the one observation I feel I can make from over a decade of ministry with youth and young adults is that many people wander away from the faith bit by bit, small step by small step. A decision to stay home from church and study here, a term’s ‘break’ from youth group there ... It seems wise to not let these decisions go unnoticed but to talk it over with your kids, and to take a note from the ministry patterns of the Puritans: assume the need for intentional and ongoing personal discipleship. This sounds intense, but can be as simple as asking basic questions of your kids like “Tell me how you feel about your walk with God?”, and “What do you like/dislike about our church at the moment?”. By paying some attention early on we may just nip some future crisis in the bud.

Craig Schwarze29/07/2009 05:38 AM

I think having a robust (yet gracious) critique of fundamentalism is useful, to say, “this is *not* what Christianity is all about.” It doesn’t surprise me at all that many rebel against such upbringings.

I also think it’s important that your kids see that you move in the real world, and that your faith helps you make sense of it all. Christian ghettos can be disastrous.

Gordon Cheng29/07/2009 02:56 PM

<i>For every child of that era who rebelled against a harsh, stifling, fundamentalist upbringing and came out the other end so full of creative angst, that they made a movie about it,</i>

Not to mention that there are very few movies made about children who are brought up in a harsh, stifling fundamentalist background who then go on to become wise, faithful people who trust in the over-riding sovereignty of God.

Not because such people don’t exist, but if they do, they are not generally in the movie industry. And were they to turn up at MGM studios to pitch their ideas, they would be invited to choose from any one of 25 exits. Stability and happiness is not entertaining.

Nicole Starling29/07/2009 03:22 PM

Thanks Martin and Craig for the comments!

Martin, I agree absolutely about the ‘bit by bit’ drift, and I think you’re right about the urgent need for parents to continue intentionally discipling their kids through the teenage years.  I’m so thankful for the way my own parents handled that stage of my life, doing exactly the sorts of things you talk about.

Craig, I like your language of ‘robust (yet gracious)’.  I’m reminded of some of the posts that John Piper has written over the years in describing the good and bad in the Southern Baptist fundamentalism that he grew up in - e.g. http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1801_Good_Breeze_from_a_Fundamentalist_Neighbor/
and http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1056_evangelist_bill_piper_fundamentalist_full_of_grace_and_joy/

Nicole Starling29/07/2009 03:23 PM

Yep, Gordo, I agree!

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Paul is one of the Staff Editors at Matthias Media. He is married to Cathy and has three fantastic kids. He loves student ministry, reading, writing music and playing the saxophone, and is looking forward to meeting Jesus face to face.

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