Thanks Jean, I can relate too.

Asking questions and being genuinely interested is absolutely right.

I also think practice - rehearsal even - is a key point. Chappo made this point somewhere, when he explained that for a year, as a younger man, he and a friend had read the editorial in the daily paper and rung each other and discussed whether either could think of anything Christian to say about the topic of the day. This meant they were more likely to be ready for topics that were likely to be under current discussion. It was a form of rehearsal.

Col 4:5 says (in the NIV) to “make the most of every opportunity”. I have tried to make the most of every missed opportunity, and like you, there have been a few!

If you postmortem what you could have said, then you are more ready for next time a similar thing is said.

But I would add an extra step. Sometimes it will be appropriate to go back to the person and say,

You know what you said about X the other day, I didn’t know what to say, but I couldn’t get it out of my head, and here’s what’s come to me since.

or

I was thinking more about what you said yesterday, and here’s something I’ve found helpful [or my minister or friend recommended] in reading on the topic… Are you interested in having a copy?

It won’t always be suitable, but going back to the person shows you really take them seriously and they got you thinking. I suspect many people will respect that. (But don’t over do it!)

I sometimes wonder why God put me in my friends’ lives; didn’t he realize that someone else would do a far better job? But I can trust God’s wisdom in choosing me to be Christ’s representative to my particular friends and neighbours. I can trust his power to work in people’s hearts through the gospel, even when the only Christian my friend knows is an inept evangelist—me.

That is brilliant and confronting.
Thank you.

Jean, manner is so important with all this - along with genuine love - but I don’t think it’s aggressive to go back to follow up a conversation. Certainly not by your tone displayed in your posts and comments!

Of course, you can always check by asking their permission, adding a phrase such as “If you don’t mind me asking?” or “Is that OK with you to raise it again?”